You are beautiful. I never knew you had these issues that you've been beating. I've always been insanely jealous of you and your talents. I have always wished you would take pictures of me, and I've always wanted to be your friend. You. Are. Beautiful. This isn't a question. It's a fact.
Thank you so much, this message really made me smile this morning. I wish I knew who you were. <333
Kalea, why don’t you tell us about the first time you really felt out of place in your body.
"I think you have to lose your mind first. Like, the pieces don’t break all at once. First you can’t sleep. Then you wake up and you can’t think about getting in the shower because there is so many steps afterwards. The day is bright and clear but there is always some kind of fog in front of your eyes. I think that’s what it is like to be in limbo. You’re stuck somewhere so neutral, so emotionless. My body became this prison of flesh and bones. It wrapped itself around an empty heart and hollow soul. Do you know what that feels like? No matter what you do, you hurt someone. You can’t go around it, you can’t save anyones heart, not even your own. I stopped eating simply because I stopped caring. It was a minor step in life and I cut it out. I’m not sure if I believe in God anymore, but I’m pretty sure his first words to me wouldn’t be ‘damn, Kalea you really let yourself go.’ Going to school was hard, breathing was hard, eating was hard, feeling was hard. I guess it’s kind of crazy. How I let him beat the life out of me, how I let him take my innocence. It’s not about being attracted to pain like a lot of people think. For me, it was about holding on to some kind of feeling, some kind of shock that could still get a reaction out of me. So to answer your question, I guess that I was so in place that I bent until I broke."
yay, questions. p.s. kalea doll i miss you, i love you, and it's been WAY too long since we've spoken. i'm sorry. i haven't been well. anywayssss, the questions: 17, 35, 51, 81, 89, 92 and 93, annnnnd 99. sorry for the overload o ones that make you think, there's just so much i'd want to know about your soul.
17- i keep telling my aunt i’m alright
35- I think it’s to make mistakes. It’s to have a few epiphanies along the way. To find our moments of realization that life is beautiful. It’s to hurt, to love, to be happy, to be in pain. Basically it’s to feel as much as we can.
51- No, but I never forget.
81- Let it be known, she actually lived.
89- What made you change?
92- i’d like to experience that precious 30 minutes before I thought there was anything wrong with me. I’d like to hold on to it, and I want to feel that young and happy again. Even if for a short time.
93- It’s not what would I erase, but who I would he erase. My first boyfriend.
99- You’re beautiful because you’re you. Not because your hair, your skin, your eyes, your weight, your clothes. You’re beautiful because you wake up every morning and live. Remember that.
These are actually good questions, message numbers?
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
4) What do you think about most?
5) What does your latest facebook message from someone else say?
6) Do you sleep with or without a blanket on?
7) What's your strangest talent?
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence)
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?
11) Do you have any strange phobias?
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
13) What's your religion?
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
17) What was the last lie you told?
18) Do you believe in karma?
19) What does your screen name mean?
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
21) Who is your celebrity crush?
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
23) How do you vent your anger?
24) Do you have a collection of anything?
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
26) Are you happy with the person you've become?
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
28) What's your biggest "what if"?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell?
32) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
33) Choose:East Coast or West Coast?
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
36) Define- Art.
37) Do you believe in luck?
38) What's the weather like right now?
39) What time is it?
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
41) What was the last book you read?
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?
43) Do you have any nicknames?
44) What was the last movie you saw?
45) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?
47) Do you have any obsessions right now?
48) What's your ?
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
50) Do you believe in magic?
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
52) What is your astrological sign?
53) Do you save money or spend it?
54) What's the last thing you purchased?
55) Love or lust?
56) In a relationship?
57) Are you a virgin?
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
59) Where were you yesterday?
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
61) Are you wearing socks right now?
62) What's your favorite animal?
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
64) Where is your best friend?
65) Spit or swallow?(;
66) What is your heritage?
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
68) What do you think is Satan's last name?
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
73) You can only have one of these things:trust or love.
74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
77) How can I win your heart?
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
80) What size do you where?
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
82) What is your favorite word?
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word:heart.
84) What is a saying you say a lot?
85) What's the last song you listened to?
86) Basic question:what's your favorite color/colors?
87) What is your current desktop picture?
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
96) Do you have any relatives in jail?
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?
98) Ever been on a plane?
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
“I’m the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible…”—Elizabeth Wurtzel (via misswallflower)
“I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it’s true I’m here, and I’m just as strange as you.”—Friday Kahlo (via thechocolatebrigade)
I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often.